Ever since I experienced misophonia at about 10 years old, I forgot a lot about who I was. Over the years, misophonia consumed my life and my identity. I felt dreary, angry, and irritated almost all of the time.
I remember trying to combat these negative emotions I was feeling at misophonia’s early stages. Some of these ways were less than healthy. I became isolated, more to myself than I usually was, and dreaded outings.
As I learned to live with this neurological disorder, I’ve developed healthier ways to cope. I’ve described some of these on my blog: eating better and exercising to name a few. Other things I do are wear earplugs, headphones, practice deep breathing exercises, and learning to walk away when I feel overwhelmed.
But because of this new way of living, I forgot my true identity. And I’m only now rediscovering it.Well, at least a part of it. I used to be adventurous. I used to love climbing, whether it be on mountains, rock climbing gyms, climbing up poles, you name it. Hiking is also something I used to love, and I want to do it more. I loved camping, too. My dad had taken me camping once when I was little, and I remembered how fun it was. Recently, I went camping again with my boyfriend and some of his other friends and brothers, and it was absolutely fantastic. Additionally, I have a newfound love for geocaching. My boyfriend introduced the idea to me, and we did it, and it was really fun. I hope we do it again soon.
But I also realized that I really, really want to travel. I want to see new places, discover new cultures, see beautiful views, camp in beautiful areas, climb and hike…and then of course, at the end of the day, relax and enjoy a quiet evening. My boyfriend’s a climber. He’ll climb anything. And he also likes camping, and doing outdoorsy fun things. And it’s because of the way he is that I’ve rediscovered this sense of adventure in myself. I have him to thank for helping me, when he probably didn’t even know it.
That’s not to say that my misophonia is not a daily thing for me to deal with anymore, because it is. Rediscovering this about myself didn’t magically make my misophonia go away, but I’ve learned something truly worthwhile. Misophonia is a part of me, but it is not who I am. Truth be told, I already knew this, but something about being with my boyfriend has helped me actually believe it.
Misophonia is a part of me, but it is not who I am.
See you next week!